Ode to the Cantors
sung to the tune of “Hail Redeemer, King Divine”

Hail! The cantor, I’m divine!
Get away! The stand is mine!
I’ll sing louder with such tone
Cause I have the microphone!

When I lead, the people sing,
Arms upraised, I do my thing!
And if there are some notes missed,
I’ll just blame the organist.

Hail! The cantor, I’m divine!
From my lips text flows like wine.
When I sing it’s like the birds
That’s cause I don’t know the words!

‘Cross the altar I will prance
Sing the psalm and back I dance;
Sing the acclamations too,
For I never miss a cue!

A Director’s Lament
sung to the tune of “Were You There”

Were you there last week when we learned this song?
Were you there when we fixed parts that were wrong?
Oh, sometimes
it causes me some headaches, heartburn, ulcers.
Were you there last week when we learned this song?

Ode to the Sopranos
sung to the tune of “Here I am, Lord”

I am bored with singing low,
Notes that are for an alto.
All those notes below the staff
I turn away!

I sing high notes without fear!
Notes that only dogs can hear,
I will sing up high for them
Do I offend?

Here I am, world, it is I, world!
No descant that’s written is too high!
I will sing well what you teach me,
Make it high, Soprano is my name.